Older and wiser

I turned another year old in January. Wiser, not so sure. Birthdays are kind of a big deal to me. Not at all because I expect a fuss to be made or gifts. It is just a big deal for me personally because with every birthday that comes along, I realize how much I have to be thankful for and how blessed we have been. I know I write about that a lot, but that is ok. It is important for me to remember where I came from. I will never forget those years of not knowing what my future would hold, wondering if we would ever have a family, and questioning "Why me?" with the infertility issues when being a mommy was the #1 thing I ever wanted to do. But alas ... here we are with a house FULL of kids. It was not in my timing but in God's timing.

But to remember how far we came is very emotional and also a little bit funny considering how things are now. I remember 28 was always the "magic age" when I said I wanted to have kids. And at 28, many of my closest friends were having kids. Not me. I was recently divorced with no idea when or if I would even get married again. And that was hard! Then came 29 ... still single. When I hit the big 30 ... still not married. Age 31 ... finally married and trying to have a family, but no success. Age 32 ... still no success even after starting fertility treatments. Age 33 ... more failed fertility treatments and miscarriage. And very very sad about it all. That was probably the hardest birthday. But then, when I had just about given up after another long year of treatments and trying to figure out what to do about more treatments, adoption, etc., we found out we were pregnant with TWINS shortly before my 34th birthday. The day I turned 34, I was unable to eat and was throwing up all the time ... and could not have been happier to be doing so!!

And the rest is history.

35th birthday with two in my lap.

36th birthday with two in my lap and one in my belly.

37th birthday with three in my lap and one in my belly (although not visible yet).

 
And 38th birthday with FOUR in my lap.

Wow, what a difference a few years makes.  As I was trying to take a picture with all the kids on my lap on my birthday this year (which you can see was not as well received by all participants), I was asked why I wanted a picture with all of them. True, I'm a picture fanatic, but my annual "birthday picture" with all the kids on my lap is important to me. It is a day to squeeze my kiddos and realize what a good year it had been ... and to be thankful for another year of being their mommy and hopefully growing a little bit wiser in the process. So even if the pictures are laughably chaotic, I will always treasure that reminder of how life was on that day. Happy Birthday to me!

p.s. I actually think this year's picture was a couple of days after my birthday because the girls and I traveled to visit my sister's family and then my brother's family on my birthday weekend. That was a fun little girls' trip for us! So we celebrated as a family when we got back home from our trip.